While separation may change your family’s structure, it doesn’t have to mean the end of your family. Here at Sydney Law Group, we believe that separating parents can work together to solve problems and maintain a respectful, family-focused relationship. This approach allows the whole family to thrive, marked by greater trust, mutual respect, and a low conflict, positive, family-focused co-parenting relationship.
One of the keys to a successful separation is the ability to maintain a family-focused co-parenting relationship. Here are our top 13 tips to achieve this:
1. Prioritise Your Wellbeing
Look after yourself, your physical and mental health first. The kids need you to be OK.
2. Maintain Respectful Communication
It’s admirable to say “We are going to prioritise the kids over everything”, but that doesn’t amount to a lot if you aren’t in a good headspace, and you can’t communicate respectfully as a family moving forward.
3. Let Go of Negative Emotions
Let go of anger and blame. Get therapeutic help (see a counsellor or psychotherapist) if you need it.
4. Prioritise Your Kids’ Needs
The kids need both of you. Prioritise their needs over your need to be with them, and resist any desire to stop your ex spending time with them.
5. Be Solution Focused
Commit to discussing and solving the problems created by the separation, with your ex. Be solution focused.
6. Seek Outside Help if Necessary
If it is difficult to discuss things calmly and in a problem-solving way, get outside help (through a mediation service) early.
7. Spend Quality Family Time
Work on creating a positive co-parenting relationship by scheduling some time every month to be together as a family.
8. Avoid Conflict Around Kids
Avoid arguing or discussing challenging topics around the kids.
9. Keep Changeover Child-Focused
Don’t seek answers to questions during changeover. Keep changeover happy and child focused.
10. Minimise Negativity
Try not to say anything negative about the other parent, even if you think it. It affects your ability to communicate effectively and in a respectful way.
11. Protect Your Children
Children exposed to parents arguing and criticising each other, have poor outcomes compared to children who aren’t exposed to conflict.
12. Choose the Possible
It’s not going to be easy. But there is hard but possible, and there is hard and impossible. Choose possible!
13. Commit to Communication
The difference between a family who can communicate and act like a loving, connected family after separation, and one that can’t, is all down to the parents and their commitment to achieving that outcome. Commit to finding a way to communicate with care and respect. Your children will thank you!
We understand separation is hard, and we know you never expected to be here. The process of separation can damage families, and cases where parents can’t communicate or agree on anything can be heartbreaking. Nobody thrives in that situation, least of all children.
At Sydney Law Group, we help remove the stress by giving you the tools & information you need to work out how you and your children are going to be affected by separation, what steps you need to take to solve immediate problems, and what you need to do to protect your family & financial security moving forward, as a family unit in 2 homes.
Our in-depth expertise allows us to be solution-focused, which results in a quicker settlement while minimising costs. Contact us today to learn how we can help you through this challenging time.